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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096982">Counting From One-Hundred</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino'>NeonDomino</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jily Fever [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>F/M, New Family, Struggling</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-01-31</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-18 11:27:07</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>General Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>629</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29096982</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/NeonDomino/pseuds/NeonDomino</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>Lily struggles after becoming a parent.</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>James Potter/Lily Evans Potter, James/Lily</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series:</b></td><td>Jily Fever [4]</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Series URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/series/1817536</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>18</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>Counting From One-Hundred</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <hr/>
<p>
  <span>It’s three-am. Lily knows this because the red numbers on the clock hurt her eyes as they glare at her through the dark room. She can barely focus, everything a blur, but they somehow stand out.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>The book says to sleep when the baby sleeps, but that’s bullshit because there’s no time. No time at all, and the books don’t seem to understand or explain that. Her life doesn't revolve solely around her child. When Harry is sleeping, Lily is shoving food in her mouth because she’s not had a proper chance to eat. Or maybe that’s the day people turn up unexpectedly, and she has to deal with company whilst her eyes threaten to close and stay closed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Then there’s tidying. There’s little time, but she does what she can to keep the house in order. She wants it to be tidy, but it looks like a bomb hit it.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>There’s cooking to do, appointments, calls, letters. So much. She hasn’t got a moment to herself. James is trying - she knows he’s trying - but Paternity leave has ended and he’s had to go back to work. He’s only a Junior Auror and therefore is expected to put in all of the extra hours to prove himself, leaving him torn between his job and his family.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So she pretends all is well. She tells him to stay that extra hour, but deep down, she hopes he’ll decide to come home and help her. Maybe she’s too good of an actress, or too convincing, because he listens to her, he believes her.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Remus stops in sometimes. He’s been helping out. He’s sat with Harry whilst Lily passes out on top of her bed, fully clothes, or even falls asleep on the sofa. She wakes up to find Harry’s nappy changed, him happy with a bottle, and the sink empty of washing up. The house looks a little bit tidier and organised, and that makes all the difference, because she feels she can handle another day.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Even if she couldn’t handle it, she has to anyway. There’s nothing she can do.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>But she’s exhausted. No-one told her it’d be like this, and she’s just tired all of the time. She never has enough sleep and she’s utterly sick of people with no children trying to give her advice because they think they know better. Or worse yet, acting like she’s doing it wrong, just because their perceived ideas of how to raise a child (despite not having one themselves) are better than the way she’s doing it. </span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>So when the baby monitor goes off at three in the morning, she doesn’t move. She can’t. She’s on the verge of tears. She tries to tell herself that she’s got this, that she just needs a moment. She tells herself that she’ll get out of bed and go in and check on Harry. That all is fine and she’ll just need to resettle him and put him back in bed. But she knows it’s time for his next bottle. She’ll be up for a while when she leaves this bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>“Your turn?” James mutters, but Lily doesn’t reply. She doesn’t move. She tries to mentally prepare herself and starts to count backwards from a hundred to give herself a chance to get out of bed.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>Before she even gets down to eighty, however, she feels a kiss to the back of her head, and feels the mattress shift as James gets up. “My turn,” he murmurs to himself, leaving the room. Lily hears him talking to Harry on the monitor moments later.</span>
</p>
<p> </p>
<p>
  <span>She breathes a sigh of relief. She loves her son more than anything, but she is completely drained. She just needs some sleep and maybe she’ll be able to handle tomorrow.</span>
</p><hr/>
<p> </p>
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